Elf-on-a-Shelf

Here’s the product description as found on Amazon.com “Remember this little elf? According to tradition, families would put an elf out to watch the children to determine who's been naughty or nice. Comes with a full-color storybook and a posable elf.”

Let’s get to the point here. This “toy” is a very, very bad idea. We tell our kids that Santa knows if they’ve bad or good. However, this “toy” takes it to a whole new level. Sure, Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good because he’s got a creepy-looking, spying, no-good, elf deployed at your house and every night this elf flies back to the North Pole to rat you out to Santa.

Don’t kids go through enough grief where they shouldn’t be exposed to this behavior modification tool?
1. A big, bearded man that comes down the chimney (he had magical powers to come in our front door since we didn’t have a fireplace).
2. Sitting on #1’s lap
3. Flying reindeer
4. The failure of the auto bridge loans that have mommy and daddy stressed

And this is just at Christmas. At Easter they have to think about a giant rabbit in their house, a cruxifiction and a resurrection. Believe me, I am the woman I am today due to the huge amount of fear that I possessed. Imagine throwing this elf into the mix! I would have been a six-year old with major anxiety issues. Waking up to him posed in different ways, in different locations throughout the house. No thanks!

Let’s read and respond to some of the buyer’s comments that I found on Amazon.com

First, the positive:
#1 - My kids just received this Thanksgiving day as a gift and I am now ordering them for every child I know. It is such a cute idea. Santa sends the elf to watch the children and then the elf reports to Santa every night and comes back to a different spot in the house. My kids wake up with a running start to see who can find the elf first. The kids must name the elf and they really enjoyed that as well. It is such a nice tradition to help make the Christmas Season even more fun and special. I know it will be with our family for a very long time.

KAM’s Response: Sure mom. All of the other kids you are buying this for are just going to be thrilled…for about 3 seconds! You’re doing such a wonderful job of teaching your kids the very responsible practice/act of tattling. Plus, you have to know deep down that the name your kids have given this elf the name Lucifer and they run to find him every morning out of complete and utter fear. Just remember one more thing, Mom…these kids of yours will remember this “toy” when its time to decide your fate…nursing home or their spare bedroom. Continue to torture them in this way and I’ll be putting my money on the nursing home.

#2 - We just received this as a gift. It is perfect for my 3 year old who is having constant struggles with being a good little boy as he grows more independent. We've named our elf and everyday we remind him that his elf is watching him and he instantly stops the negative behavior. He's even told his wish list for Santa to his elf. It's been a great motivational tool for improving his behavior when other techniques have failed. Brilliant idea!!

KAM’s Response: You can tell this is written by a mom that cannot come to terms with the idea that she is raising a complete and utter brat. Your kid is struggling with being a good boy as he grows independent? That’s snobby code for - my kid misbehaves. I’m guessing that you have absolutely no control over this kid and have reached the last straw in getting him to behave. Since you can’t cop to being a poor parent, you are using this “toy” to punish your kid…all the while trying to sell it as a learning tool. Considering the psycho-babble this mom is using in her testimonial, imagine how she speaks to her kid. Poor kid! We’ll see you in Juvenile Court in about 10 years.


Finally, the negative:
#1 - We read the story and showed him the elf doll last night. I have a 4 1/2 year old son and an almost 2 year old daughter. Half way through the story, he started getting really worried about this elf coming to life in his house and running/flying all over the place. We ended up telling him it was just make believe and Mom & Dad move the elf. That made him feel better. He really liked looking for his elf (named Eeek, very fitting) this morning though. We just had to come clean about the story.

KAM’s Response: Come on. I know you spent $24.95 on this thing, but now that your kids know that this is a total sham, why even go through the motions?

#2 - The whole Santa/God thing is traumatic enough without having this evil little little spy in the house as well. My brother and I were harassed by this thing as children, we would never have it in the house now. Think about this. It's fun for adults, it's not really that fun for kids. Leave the kids alone.

KAM’s Response: I couldn’t agree more.

Thanks for the link KP & Lu.

I Heart T.V.

Here is my listing of the Top 25 TV shows of my lifetime. Sorry, KP…I’m not a fan of Dr. Huxtable.

1. Dexter – can’t believe there is only 1 episode left. Jimmy Smits was a great addition this season
2. Arrested Development
3. News Radio
4. The Office
5. The Sopranos
6. Cheers
7. Seinfeld
8. 48 Hours – 1 crime beginning to end in 1 hour
9. Dateline – especially when they “Catch a Predator”
10. Freaks and Geeks
11. Melrose Place
12. Muppet Show
13. Extras
14. Six Feet Under
15. St. Elsewhere
16. Jeopardy – I heart Alex
17. Sex and the City
18. WKRP in Cincinnati
19. Family Ties
20. Scrubs
21. Curb Your Enthusiasm
22. Laverne & Shirley
23. 20/20
24. 30 Rock
25. Miss Guided – bring it back!

The criteria for selection was: 1) do I Tivo it? 2) have I raced home to see it? 3) have I ever scheduled travel around it so as to not miss it & 4) what made me happy as a kid

At the Movies

I challenged some guy at work to list his Top 25 movies of all time, so I did the same thing. Here is my list (in order)

1. Silence of the Lambs
2. Sixteen Candles
3. Shawshank Redemption
4. Goodfellas
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
6. Kill Bill vol. 1
7. Wonder Boys
8. Fargo
9. Godfather
10. Terms of Endearment
11. What About Bob?
12. Seven
13. Sense & Sensibility
14. Being John Malkovich
15. Shakespeare in Love
16. Moulin Rouge
17. The Usual Suspects
18. Pulp Fiction
19. American Psycho
20. The Sixth Sense
21. Dead Calm
22. Princess Bride
23. Adaptation
24. The Hours
25. Bull Durham
26. The Upside of Anger
27. Sliding Doors

I meant to do a list of 25, but I really couldn’t get rid of ‘The Upside of Anger’ or ‘Sliding Doors’, but maybe they’re honorable mentions. Someone said this list was kind of “high-brow”…get this…because I have three Gwyneth Paltrow movies listed. Once I was finished choking, I pointed out that ‘What About Bob?’ was on my list. 'Nuff said!

Do you have any other movies to add to my list?

Next we’ll tackle TV shows.

Hey Mrs. DJ

If I wasn't what I am (career-wise), I'd want to be a D.J. I'd even do weddings if I had to.

Lost...and Found?

My friend Lesley mentioned that I should write a blog about the lost holiday…Thanksgiving. I’ve spent the last day thinking about this. I wasn’t even sure if I knew the true meaning of Thanksgiving. How strange…I usually know enough about basic subjects that I can speak to them (no…don’t call it B.S’ing!), but my lack of knowledge (other than Plymouth Rock), made me feel…stupid. Of course, Wikipedia and all of the other sites I visit really didn’t give me much insight either. The questions are as follows: is Thanksgiving actually a lost holiday? And if so, is that so bad???

Here’s what I’ve determined. Yes, Thanksgiving is a lost holiday. Lost between Halloween and Shopping….I mean Christmas. Its probably lost because there isn’t a great way to commercialize and market the day. What was originally intended to be a holiday where we had Harvest Festivals to give thanks to God for bountiful crops, land, etc. has turned into the carb-loading session for Black Friday and the Christmas season.

The strange thing is that Thanksgiving is still my absolute favorite holiday. I know I’m saying it is lost at the same time I’m saying its my favorite, but I feel that its morphed into a new holiday – Family Day. To me, Family Day is similar to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Since we don’t have crops and aren’t “one with the land” as the settlers and pilgrims were, we’ve turned it into a genuine day to enjoy time (not presents, other than food) with our nearest and dearest. No one expects anything more than the opportunity to spend the day with their family.

I still think its ridiculous that we go straight from Halloween decorations to Christmas at the malls and on T.V. and Thanksgiving does get the shaft in that regard. But what I do like is that as I get older its so much more noticeable the way that people do spend a bit of time feeling blessed/thankful for what their life has given them. Maybe we won’t get our hands on the Wii on Black Friday, and maybe the holidays will be stressful…I don’t know, but I love Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my friends, my family, love in my life, Katie-dog, my country, etc. Now if only I could be blessed with a Lions win tomorrow…yea, right!

Now…everyone go around the table and tell me 1 thing you’re thankful for.

Detroit's Best Burgers

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Avis=C4&Dato=20081113&Kategori=ENT&Lopenr=811110803&Ref=PH

Forget the fact that the Freep (Detroit Free Press) has titled the article “Here are 25 of Metro Detroit’s Best Bugers”, when in fact they have listed 40, but I love articles like this.

I’ve tried 12 of the 40 burgers listed…which kind of surprised me since I fancy myself as some sort of hamburger connoisseur. I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll never try the Red Chile Salmon Burger at the Fly Trap in Ferndale, but this article reminded me of some of the best places to eat in and around Detroit. It is worthy to note that most of the burger joints I’ve tried have a “seedier” edge to them, but that’s pretty cool – Checker Bar, Nemo’s, The Detroiter, etc…just fantastic – burger and a beer for less than $10.
The Emory in Ferndale was left off the list, by the way.

The only other cool place that this article reminds me of is Lafayette Coney. While they don’t serve burgers, the food is awesome. Plus, they have a waiter that looks like Magglio Ordonez that does cool tricks with silverware and toothpicks.

Veteran's Day

Its late in the day, but if you can, take the chance to thank the veterans in your life. Today is a day for us to remember the sacrifices they have made for us and this great country. They are selfless heroes.