Hi. My name is KAM and I’m an addict. I’m addicted to Facebook (were you hoping for something more juicy?). I guess admitting you have a problem is the first step in resolving said problem, or is it the first of the 12 steps…hmmm.
I had to drive 6 hours to work today (big trip) and I had a random thought during the car ride …that I should be able to check Facebook no later than 2 p.m. It made me excited. Really? Yes, really! How pathetic is that? Seriously…how much joy do I really expect to encounter by reading all of those boring status updates.
Blank is cold today!!!
Blank is sad to be at work!!
Blank is tired!
Blank loves being a mom!!!!
Come on people - you can do better than that! Give me some totally inappropriate status updates. Spill the dirt on your weekend escapades. Tell me your deepest secrets. Be way too personal. Tell me how you really feel. I (and your 93 friends) promise to not make fun of you. Here are some examples that I might find entertaining/amusing.
Blank spit in their colleague’s coffee today.
Blank has lustful thoughts for….
Just as fun as the status updates are the people/entities people choose to become “fans” of. Today alone, I see fans of the most nice things on Earth…Will Smith (yawn!), City of Detroit (post-Kwame Detroit or were you a fan before?). Is it possible to become a fan of puppies or kittens, in general? Is anyone willing to become of fan of say….Charles Manson, Larry Birkhead, Gerri Halliwell, or Dan Rather (gasp!)?
Let me put it out there…I spend waaaay too much time on Facebook. I live for it while I’m on the road. I am a loser. All I ask is for you do me a favor and be as creative as possible. Make me squirm a little bit when I get on your page. Heck – post really bad pictures (as long as I’m not in them).
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4 comments:
I enjoy interesting status updates, and get annoyed when people act as if updating their status is the same as writing in their hot pink, bubbly-covered Hello Kitty diary. Um, no. Status updates are PUBLIC. Entertain us!
I have blocked quite a few of my "friends" on Facebook from receiving my status updates, due to the randomness of my updates, and due to the possible lameness of some of my "friends" on Facebook (I'm talking people I've connected with from high school or college, whom I haven't spoken to in eons). I guess I do worry about being judged...
As I was washing dishes this night, my mind was, as usual, drifting off to one million different things. I was thinking about something and then was all "Oooh, that'd make a great Facebook status update!"
Lent 2009 - Give up Facebook. Okay, maybe limit Facebook visits to three times a week?
I think it must happen. I have such an addictive personality.
How about:
Kristen thinks pictures of your ultrasound are gross.
I'm actually considering UNfriending all of my FB friends who suck at writing status updates. No fears, you will make the cut. Foh Schizzle.
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